How is Catfishing linked to Self Worth?

This week I listened to a very well known podcast in Ireland by the 2 Johnnies about the 'GAA Catfish'. This kept me hooked for days. I had listened to parts 1 and 2 years ago and I was still as shocked then as I am now! This Story is CRAZY! This story was about a Prolific 'Catfisher' who created multiple fake profiles, personas, families, friends and put 100s of people through ordeals with made up situations none of which existed! I honestly be so shocked how someone can find the time in the day to even master this all but it really got me thinking about the CORE behind this and how it is linked to Self Worth for both the person being catfished and also the 'Catfisher'

Catfishing can be linked to self-worth in a few significant ways, both for the person being deceived and the person doing the deceiving.

1. For the person doing the catfishing: Someone who engages in catfishing may feel a lack of self worth or insecurity about their real identity. They might create a fake persona in an attempt to gain validation, admiration, or attention from others. The false identity provides a way to escape or hide from their own feelings of inadequacy or shame. This might happen because they feel they aren't worthy or attractive enough in their true form, so they turn to deception as a way to experience connection or success they might not feel they can achieve otherwise.

2. For the person being catfished: On the other side, the person who is being deceived might struggle with their own self-worth as well. Catfishing often involves the deceiver offering excessive praise, attention, or affection, which can lead the person being deceived to feel more valued or desirable than they otherwise might. This can be appealing, especially if the victim struggles with low self-esteem. The sudden attention from someone they believe to be ideal may temporarily boost their self-worth, but when the truth is revealed, it can lead to feelings of betrayal, shame, and a more significant hit to their self-esteem.

In both cases, catfishing can reveal underlying struggles with self-image, loneliness, or the desire for validation. It's often tied to an emotional need that someone is trying to fulfil, whether by pretending to be someone else or by seeking affection that feels authentic but is ultimately based on a lie.

Being a victim of catfishing can be detrimental to self-worth for several reasons, mainly because it involves deception, betrayal, and emotional manipulation that can shake a person's sense of identity and value. Here are some key factors:

1. Betrayal of Trust: Catfishing usually involves a deep level of emotional manipulation. When someone is deceived by a fake persona, it can lead to a significant sense of betrayal. This breach of trust can make the victim question their own judgment, which can lower their self-esteem and make them feel more vulnerable in future relationships.

2. Feeling of Unworthiness: Often, catfishers prey on individuals who may already feel lonely or insecure. When they experience the emotional highs of a seemingly meaningful connection, only to find out it was all a lie, they may internalize the experience and start believing that they aren't worthy of genuine love or connection. They might start to feel that they were deceived because they weren't good enough as they are.

3. Shame and Embarrassment: Being tricked into developing feelings for someone who doesn't exist can lead to a lot of shame. Victims might feel embarrassed about how much they invested emotionally, thinking they should have "seen the signs" or been more cautious. This self-blame can significantly impact their self-worth, making them feel foolish or gullible.

4. Loss of Self-Confidence: The emotional toll of catfishing can affect how someone views themselves moving forward. They might feel disconnected from their own identity, especially if the catfishing involved deeply emotional or intimate interactions. In some cases, victims might even start questioning their own desirability or worth, as the person who "cared" for them wasn't real, which can lead to a loss of confidence in relationships overall.

5. Long-term Emotional Impact: The psychological aftermath of being catfished can linger. It can cause anxiety, depression, or even PTSD-like symptoms, especially if the victim developed a strong emotional attachment to the fake persona. Over time, this damage can extend to how they see themselves in future interactions, making it harder to trust people or believe they are deserving of healthy, honest relationships.

Ultimately, catfishing can undermine someone's sense of self-worth because it builds an emotional connection on a foundation of lies, leaving the victim questioning their value, ability to judge others, and the authenticity of their relationships.

As funny and crazy as this story was the overall damage to many peoples lives will have been detrimental. That's why I always urge my clients when it comes to online dating that you do not text for long periods prior to meeting as its very easy to get attached to a 'fantasy'. Online safety is paramount as you never know who you are talking to unless you have met in person and know they are real in the 3D! Remember when it comes to thoughts the brain cannot decipher what is real and what is not so it can be easy to get attached to 'Stories' you tell yourself!

If you are reading this and you have been catfished or know someone who has been below are some of my Top Tips to help recovery:

1. Acknowledge and Process Your Emotions
   Allow yourself to feel the emotions—whether it's anger, sadness, or betrayal. Don’t suppress what you're feeling. Journaling or talking with a trusted friend or therapist can help you process these emotions and start the healing process.

2. Reframe the Experience
   Understand that being catfished is not a reflection of your value or worth. The deceiver’s actions say more about them than about you. Remind yourself that you were vulnerable, but you didn’t deserve to be deceived. Reframing the experience can help you distance yourself from feelings of shame.

3. Set Boundaries with Yourself and Others
   Moving forward, make sure you create boundaries that help you feel safe. Whether it's taking a break from online dating or being cautious with personal information, setting clear boundaries helps you feel more in control and protects your self-worth from being compromised again.

4. Engage in Self-Care
   Focus on activities that make you feel good and remind you of your value. This could include physical activities, hobbies, spending time with supportive people, or practicing mindfulness. Caring for your body and mind can help you reconnect with a positive sense of self.

5. Challenge Negative Thoughts
   When you catch yourself thinking negatively about your worth (like blaming yourself or thinking you’re not good enough), challenge those thoughts. Counter them with affirmations or positive beliefs. For example, remind yourself: “I am worthy of genuine love and respect” or “This experience does not define me.”

6. Seek Professional Support if Needed
   If the emotional impact is lasting and overwhelming, talking to a counsellor or therapist can help you rebuild your self-esteem. Professional support can guide you through the process of healing and provide tools to address any lingering trauma or self-worth issues.

Each step helps you reclaim your power and begin to see yourself as worthy of healthy, honest relationships. Remember, healing takes time—be patient with yourself.

If your interested I would highly recommend listening to the Podcast. In a World that is busy busy busy but also more lonely and disconnected than ever it is crucial to educate and empower yourself with information that can help you navigate it! If this information doesn't help you directly I might help someone else! Empowered Women Empower Women

Ps I have been through a lot in my life but one thing I can say I actually haven't experienced is being Catfished! a win is win :)

Stay Safe :)

Sarah Jayne x